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Making a resolution for the first day of new year, in my full of mind, is always what people do even should just occur on someone's mind, but it does. So, are you on it? Or have you been on it?

So, why do people making resolutions at the turn of the year? Is that needed? It's a well-known tradition to set it out. But since 2020 was rough or let's say hardly like any other, do resolutions even deserve a place on your to-do list? Many people set resolutions in the name of their better self of good health or seeking out every curious they can't wait to try it out. After a year, though, while things got turned upside down and uncertainty is the running theme, is it time to finally consider something more useful?

According to Portal Jember, Hani Yuliandrasari, a psychologist thinks that many people assume new year is a "Portal" to the new hopes and era. Hence, most of them have made resolutions to change about themselves and their lives.

"New year is like an open door to face the newest era. Many wells said, it's time for me to change, nothings on the past, and I have to work on for this year.", said Hani.

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This New Year's problem resolutions

But, but, but ,but, but... let's have a look from the past, how was 2020's resolutions or its year situation going? How bad were the conditions both mentally and physically or even emotionally?

I ought to remind you, pandemic is far from over.

The result is, it affects our current settlement, then considering those effects before affecting this year's resolutions any further.

Why?

Because according to Dr. Sophie Lazarus, a psychologist at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, after a difficult year, the last thing we require to do is add more pressure on ourselves, instead set a realistic goal during a global pandemic. 

"It's probably more useful to seek at what's going on in our lives -- and especially given everything that has been asked of us and all of the adaptation we've been doing in 2020 -- if it's a really good time to make a change," Dr. Lazarus.

If you decide to make some type of change is a good idea, then evaluating how big the change is and if that kind of change is actually reasonable and realistic right now. Dr. Lazarus well said that this such an especially difficult year that we don't really want to set ourselves up for that kind of uneasiness and disappointment which makes it even harder to cope.

We occasionally think it's going to help us get more done or be more productive or make this change we really want to make. Dr. Lazarus thinks that it very tends to just increase our stress and make things worse.

That doesn't mean you can't stick with your such ambitions, of course, you can by being more gentle to yourself or give yourself this same grace you might give to someone that you love or care about.

How do I cope with it? What should I do?

All by that making some of the "fresh start" mentality in this New Year, Dr. Lazarus suggests by starting small ones. She encourages people to think in small, incremental terms instead of big changes.

That's it. Starting with the easy way, this ain't bring you a burden or even worse unconsciously forcing yourself, on the contrary you will even be happier and feel the excitement within the journey. 

For example, you could think about how much time you have spent with your phone only for social media with do nothing, how much junk food you eat daily and blablabla. Try limiting it to once a day or setting alarms up when you on your phone, or you can still enjoying your favorite meal once a week, the point is, don't too strict about yourself but discipline.

Last, consider why this small adjustment will make your life better. Do you know this change could help you feel better or happier on a daily basis? or are you doing it because you think you "should" do it?

Meanwhile, instead of trying to cope with bad habits or fixing what's wrong in your life, you can focus on mindfulness and awareness, and releasing some of the self-criticism. You are beautiful, you are amazing, you are outstanding just the way you are.

Here, I'm about sharing my kind of more and less to-do list. 

Hope you have a good time.

~Farah

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Pertanyaannya berupa, "Eh emangnya cari uang tuh susah ya pas pandemi seperti ini?"

"Iya, gila, Far, susah banget, apalagi di masa pandemi kayak covid19 gini. Bukannya kita diterima kerja, kita malah ditendang keluar sama perusahaan." jawab Fulanah.

"Susah sih, Far, lagi di masa normal sebelum covid aja udah susah, ini pandemi tambah-tambah." Jawab Mawar.

"Yang PNS mah enak, dia udah kejamin tetep kerja, lah yang di swasta sama wirausahawan?! Omset kita turun, Far. Yah, mungkin ujian dari Allah kali ya." Kata Mas Fulan.

"Gara-gara corona, penjualanku juga menurun drastis. Kasian karyawan-karyawan yang kerja di tempatku, Far, bahkan ada yang beberapa harus aku keluarkan dengan terpaksa." Ucap Mas Ambyar sedih.

"Gw heran deh, ini apaan sih pake covid-covid segala. Gw mau nabung buat nikah jadi susah nih. Mana harusnya tahun ini bisa nikah eh malah diundur karena pandemi. Nasib....nasib..." Eluh Mas Uwuu.

Eittss, kok kayaknya orang-orang cuma bisa ngeluh dan bernegatif thinking terus ya sama Allah? Emangnya nggak ada gitu yang legowo dan berhuznudzon sama Allah?

Masih ada respon-respon positif kok dari orang-orang.

"Nih, Far, mau corona nggak corona, rezeki setiap manusia itu sudah Allah atur bahkan sebelum kita lahir. Semua sudah tertulis di Lauhul Mahfudz. Jadi nggak usah risau mikirin tentang uang, yang penting mah tetep berikhtiar dan berdoa, InshaaAllah dimudahkan segalanya oleh Allah." Jawab Mbak Sekar dengan tenang.

"Alhamdulillah, Far, justru semenjak corona omset penjualan bisnis keluarga jadi lancar, yang tadinya sehari omsetnya seanu, sekarang jadi dua kali lipat, bahkan bisa sampai lima kali lipat. MashaaAllah." Timpal Mas Kabayan dengan sumringah.

"Susah Far, Mbak aja baru di PHK sama perusahaan anu. Ya, awalnya sedih banget setelah dapet berita ini, tapi apa daya, nasi sudah menjadi bubur. Mungkin Allah pengen nyelamatin Mbak dari sesuatu makanya Allah kasih kesempatan buat Mbak bisa mencari uang di tempat yang lebih banyak berkah Allah di sana." 

"Gw sedih banget sih, Far, bingung banget gimana buat bayar kuliah. Semenjak pandemi, bisnis Bapak gw sepi, orang-orang pada jarang beli, Far. Tapi anehnya, ada aja rezeki yang tak terduga dateng buat bapak. Alhamdulillah sih, seenggaknya gw percaya kalo rezeki itu nggak pernah salah alamat." Jawab Mas Pur. 

"Mas sih alhamdulillah sudah kerja di PNS, gaji tetap nggak berkurang, kerja juga bisa WFH. Tapi ya harus tetap berhemat buat anak dan istri. Di samping itu, semua ini itu namanya ujian, musibah sekaligus azab dari Allah. Mungkin selama ini tindakan manusia sudah kelewatan, ya meskipun nggak semua manusia. Di balik corona ini, ada sesuatu yang sebetulnya bisa kita syukuri ketimbang kita kufuri. Sebab, menurut Mas sendiri, dari ujian berupa pandemi ini kita belajar, belajar supaya lebih bisa menghargai apa yang sudah kita miliki. Merasa cukup dengan apa yang sudah Allah beri." 

MashaaAllah, setiap jawaban-jawaban baik dari teman, saudara atau bahkan seniorku, aku banyak belajar. Terdapat pesan yang terselubung disetiap jawaban yang mereka lontarkan. Ada pesan serta makna yang bisa aku ambil. 

Dalam hidup kita memang selalu disibukkan dengan berbagai aktivitas serta fulfilment yang harus kita penuhi. Terkadang, rasa syukur itu sekadar lewat aja dari benak kita. Selewat gitu. 

Kalau suasana hati kita lagi seneng nih, kita sering lupa buat bersyukur saking bahagianya. Tetapi giliran naudzubillah lagi dapet musibah, lagi kena masalah berat, rasa-rasanya nggak sanggup aja gitu sama ini cobaan, baru saat itu kita sadar bahwa sebetulnya kita ini butuh pertolongan Allah. 

Pertanyaannya, pas lagi seneng kita nih kemana aja? kok pas susah doang dateng ke Allah nya?

Hati-hati ya, jangan sampai kita ini lupa untuk bersyukur ketika sedang merasa senang, bahagia dan berkecukupan.

Teringat satu pesan lagi dari mentorku, kata Beliau begini,

"Rezeki itu nggak akan tertukar, rezeki nggak akan berkhianat dengan ikhtiar yang InshaaAllah sudah kita kerjakan. Tapi ya usahanya jangan hanya modal otot dan dengkul. Tapi juga sududnya. Setiap orang yang sukses itu semata-mata bukan hasil jerih payah mereka sendiri, justru karena mereka menghargai apa yang Allah berikan kepada mereka. Kalo yang kita cari cuma dunia, capek. Lebih baik mengejar akhirat. Ibaratnya seperti sekali dayung, dua tiga pulau terlampaui. Jika orientasi kita akhirat, maka dunia serta isinya, serta untuk mendapatkan yang lainnya bukanlah perkara sulit."

Dari hal itu, muncullah kembali pertanyaan di dalam benakku.

Sebetulnya apa sih yang selama ini kita cari?

Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala (swt) berfirman:

قل إن ربي يبسط الرزق لمن يشاء من عباده ويقدر له وما أنفقتم من شيء فهو يخلفه وهو خير الرازقين