Are you a fan of Korean dramas? If so, then you might want to check it out.

 "Fix You". 

This drama series is a medical-themed drama that tackles the story of a psychiatrist who tries to help his patients overcome their emotional and psychological issues.

The story revolves around the life of Lee Si-Joon, a psychiatrist known for his unconventional methods of treating his patients. He believes that emotions can be cured just like any physical illness. However, he struggles with his emotional baggage as he tries to help his patients. 

One of his patients is Han Woo Joo, a musical actress who suffers from panic attacks. Si-Joon tries to help her overcome her fears and anxiety, but he gets emotionally attached to her. As he tries to help her, he also tries to confront his own issues and past traumas.

Characters

Han Woo Joo, played by Tae In Ho, is a talented actress who is haunted by her past. Her character is generous, easily gets mad, and always feels outcasted by society, especially by her mother due to her past traumatic experiences which were left alone, and abandoned.

Themes

"Fix You" tackles various themes such as mental health, trauma, and healing. It shows how mental illnesses can affect an individual's life and how seeking help can make a huge difference. It also illustrates how human beings can heal from their past traumas and find hope for the future.

What we learn from the drama ...

In this part, I will share things that I and someone have discussed before on our monthly agenda.

The interesting part is, how does the psychiatrist solve it? 

In this case, I believe that the writer was inspired by the technique that is developed by Moreno, psychodrama, to solve the mental issues of each patient.

So, according to Moreno (1921), Psychodrama is an action method, often used as a psychotherapy, in which clients use spontaneous dramatization, role-playing, and dramatic self-presentation to investigate and gain insight into their lives. 

Developed by Jacob L. Moreno and his wife Zerka Toeman Moreno, psychodrama includes elements of theatre, often conducted on a stage, or a space that serves as a staging area, where props can be used. 

A psychodrama therapy group, under the direction of a licensed psychodramatist, reenacts real-life, past situations (or inner mental processes), acting them out in the present time. 

Participants then have the opportunity to evaluate their behaviour, reflect on how the past incident is getting played out in the present and more deeply understand particular situations in their lives. 

Psychodrama offers a creative way for an individual or group to explore and solve personal problems. It may be used in a variety of clinical and community-based settings in which other group members (audience) are invited to become therapeutic agents (stand-ins) to populate the scene of one client. (from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodrama) 

For most Indonesians, going to a psychiatrist is something that's shameful and probably should be avoided in life as long as they could. With the stigma that is strongly attached to mental disorders and their profession, including psychiatrists, it is rather demanding to make folks aware of going to a psychiatrist even though they obviously have a mental illness.

Even though awareness of the necessity to consult a psychiatrist is increased, this condition is only found in certain communities. Some still view mental illness as something that is good on its own and it is adequate just to remain and surrender.

If there is a challenge, there is a solution.

So, now...

What treatment does the psychiatrist provide to the patient at the first counselling session? 

Dr Andri briefly states that at least there are five things psychiatrists do for the patients who come to the first session.

Again, mental illness affects millions of individuals worldwide, and it's crucial to recognise that it can also impact our friends and loved ones. When someone close to us is struggling with mental health issues, it is pivotal to provide them support, understanding, and compassion. As close relatives, we play a significant role in assisting our friends through their mental health challenges. 

Meanwhile, we believe that some actions can be done such as educating ourselves, showing empathy and support, encouraging professional help, and staying connected, one of the most needed is something that's simpler than we expected which is offering our ear and listening to them.

Why?

Offering a listening ear to someone with mental illness is very pleasant because...

it validates their experiences and emotions, providing a safe space for them to express themselves. It reduces stigma by showing understanding and acceptance, building trust in the relationship. Actively listening helps identify warning signs and allows individuals to obtain clarity and perspective on their struggles. It encourages self-expression, empowering one to communicate their needs and seek support.

Overall, listening plays a vital role in providing emotional support, fostering open conversations, and contributing to their well-being.

So, start from now on please be there and listen to your partner, your child, your siblings, your friends or those who are close to you.

Closing...

I guess I have been talking too much and here we are on the last section, closing.

Before I close this article, I would like to share some of the memorable quotes that I got from the drama. I hope these quotes may cheer you up and brighten your day! 

Be mindful and grateful for everything that you have.  Thank you and have a great day.

Cheerio~ 

--------------

Media, K. C. (2012, February 8). Kalau ke Psikiater Diapain Sih? Halaman all - Kompas.com. KOMPAS.com. 

Photo by Ali Müftüoğulları from Pexels

I woke up this morning and suddenly cried.

I opened my eyes and all I could think was you.

Those things you've said to me.

And, for most...

All of today's early morning moments happened between us.

Those early morning wholesomenesses I felt.

I can't deny that I love you.

I feel so blessed you came.

You are being here with me.

At the right time, and moment.

Everything feels so right when it is you.

With you.

Only you.

Remember the second time you unofficially proposed me

Asked me to marry you?

With this, I repeat it again.

I consciously declare that " I do."

I want you to marry me,

I willingly want to be your wife.

I only want you to be my husband

I feel so blessed, so grateful.

Honestly speechless at the same time.

Not only for croissants.

But, I am also deeply in love with you.

Once again...

Everything feels so right when I'm with you.

I love you.

Farah Mayu Awaliyah, 9th January 2023

Photo by Medhat Ayad from Pexels

[From Asiye].........

Asiye went to watch Everywhere All at Once in the theatre with her family last week (it was a disaster, she would not recommend watching it with family, at all), then ended up watching the movie with a beloved person in discord. They did cry for very long and she ended up crying once again after hearing a googly eye reference. 

The movie left her quite speechless; she spent hours comparing works of literature to the movie (the Minecraft and poem had her crying, shaking, and throwing up *metaphorically of course*), questioning the meaning of her life and the mundane in everything around her. She spent the next few days questioning the importance of her worries and realising how they are a very very tiny part of the beautiful and terrific cosmos.

by tubikblog @tubikstudion.com

Asiye said,

however aside from all that hassle my dear friend, the meaning of life might be different for all of us. It could be sticking googly eyes on random places or writing silly letters or hugging our friends! It could also be saving or travelling the world to save the whole cosmos. Whatever our purpose or meaning is, we deserve love and forgiveness.

Remember how the world used to feel on your best days, expansive and bright. That world is still here, and you enable to find your way back to it. - madame clairevoyant

It really all comes down to love (oh god, please let it all come down to love), maybe it's all regarding letting the soft animal of your body love what it loves, as my dear friend Mary Oliver said in her very beloved poem "Wild Geese"; You do not have to be good, you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. Let your hands go, you do not have to hold the spring between your hands, let your hands hold another (a tree perhaps). My dear lovely friend, let your heart rest, you do not have to walk with the weight of the world on your chest. (You do not have to be good). Come sit under the shade of a tree with me.

And the universe said, "I love you" because you are love, and you can try again. You can try loving as much as you'd like (because love is all around us) (because we are love and we are loved), because the only hopeful thing there is, is to try. My dear friend, you do not have to stay stuck under the burden of your mistakes, you do not always have to try your best. Ocean Vuong was indeed right, as we are on earth very briefly gorgeous, we can be ugly, and things can get messy. Let it all down and sit under a pretty tree.

My dear dear darling friend, let's live our teeny tiny lives in this cosmos as messily and clumsily we would like, let's allow ourselves to fall down and overflow for the 5th time that day, we do not have to be good, all we need to do is rest and try again, all we can do is to forgive. All we can do is try to be kinder everyday.

by @mrotisky on Twitter

Asiye still said,

my dearest friends, I send you the warmest hugs and hope you are doing well despite the wind that seems to have caught all of us these days. We are doing well, we shall be well.

Warmly, Asiye.

Here's her poem that I love so much.

~Cheerio   

Once upon a time, while doing laundry at the midday, I thought about something that related to what recently I had been doing...

Nothing. 

Right, you've heard that, I feel like I have been doing nothing and it is also leading me to another question.

I have been thinking that is it possible to get better but with less effort? or can we achieve something by not doing?

For some reason, yes it is.

Let's have a quick glance here.

Have you ever tried petting a cat, but every time you come closer, the cat runs away and keeps watching you from a distance? Then, you walk towards the cat in a second attempt, but it runs away again. When you approach the cat the third time, it flees and disappears. However, a few hours later when you've focused your attention on something else, the cat appears, walks toward you and jumps onto your lap.

A phenomenon we often experience is that,

When we chase something or someone, it moves away from us. But when we leave it alone, it comes to us.

This mechanism can be hard to reconcile with the idea that 'effort' is the key to success. Even though it's true that achieving goals often requires work, there's also another side to the story. 

The law of reversed effort shows us that in many situations, putting in words only removes us further from the desired outcome. And that the more we try, the worse it gets. But the less we try, the better it gets. 

Hence, achieving goals doesn't just require work; we also must abstain from action. And to know when to act and when not to, we need intelligence and skill. 

Previously I explored a dimension of the law of reversed effort (also called 'the backwards law'). But this exploration was from the point of pursuing happiness, as stated by bestselling author Mark Manson:

"Wanting a positive experience is a negative experience; accepting a negative experience is a positive experience."

So, the more we want happiness, the less happy we'll be, as we're reinforcing a sense of lack. And that if we're content with how things are (and not in a state of lack), we suddenly have what we're looking for. But here, we will explore the law of reversed effort from the viewpoint of performance, achieving goals, and overcoming fears.

The law of reversed effort was once coined by English Writer and Philosopher Aldous Huxley, who stated that

"We only achieve proficiency by combining relaxation with activity."

"The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity. We cannot make ourselves understand; the most we can do is to foster a state of mind, in which understanding may come to us."

Imagine an insomniac trying to sleep. The more he tries, the longer he seems to stay awake. And the longer he stays awake, the more frustrated he becomes and the harder he tries. But after a while, the insomniac stops trying, accepting that he can't sleep. And suddenly, without any effort, he dozes off.

Sleep is one of those many things we cannot force. Yet, we often try hard to fall asleep with horrible results. When we look a the nature of sleep, this isn't much of a surprise. We can see sleep as the ultimate form of relaxation. Thus, trying to sleep is pretty contradicting, as we make an effort (or even force ourselves) to relax, which is the opposite of relaxation. 

Another thing that we cannot force is attraction. 

No one chooses to be attracted to someone or something; it just happens. Even though this is a generalization, by and large, we see that clinginess repels, and elusiveness attracts. 

The more we chase someone, the less attractive we become. But if we stop chasing, we become more elusive, and the attraction may return.

as the proverb goes: 

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Trying too hard often backfires. Philosopher and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl observed that when we focus too much on achieving specific outcomes (preventing others), we generate "anticipatory anxiety." In many cases, this hyper-intention leads to the situation we try to avoid. An example from his book Man's Search For Meaning is a stuttered who desperately tries not to stutter. But because he tries too hard, his speech falters even more as he's anxious not to speak without stammering. And so, it's with many things. 

If we try too hard to enjoy our lives, we're probably not enjoying it because we're so fixated on results that the fixation itself is unpleasant.

Again, hyper-fixation on specific outcomes hijacks one's ability to perform. Viktor Frankl provides us with a practical method called 'paradoxical intention'. This method can help us relieve ourselves of hyper-intention or, in other words: not try so hard. 

By applying paradoxical intention, we shift the paradigm from avoiding specific outcomes (like stuttering or not being able to sleep) to wanting these outcomes. By wishing for things we previously tried to prevent from happening, we're less likely to become petrified by anxiety, as we remove the pressure of wanting results. So, we're more likely to fall asleep by wishing to stay awake than by trying hard.

Learning to drive a car can be an immensely frustrating experience. It takes many lessons and many hours to master for most people. For an inexperienced person, controlling a vehicle (while watching traffic) is a very unnatural and complicated task. Unless you drive an automatic, you have to step on three different pedals to accelerate, slow down, switch gears, and you must learn to use mirrors to observe what's happening around the car.

It seems almost impossible to master. However, after lots of practice, you suddenly catch yourself automatically doing these things. Our conscious mind is a gift and a curse. It allows us to reason, analyse, and use language. However, the conscious mind often sits in the way of what the Taoists call 'wu-Wei,' also referred to as the flow state.

In the flow state, our actions are fluent and effortless, as if they happen by themselves: as if the dancer becomes the dance or the painter becomes the painting.

The Philosophy of Flow quotes retired basketball player Bill Russell, describing the flow state as "playing in slow motion" and that he "could almost sense how the next play would develop and where the next shot would be taken." Any conscious effort in addition to the flow state causes us to hesitate. That's why the moment we become consciously aware that we're in such a state, and we begin intellectualising and trying to control it; we lose it. And so, many of our actions seem to emerge from beyond our conscious minds.

The Swiss Psychiatrist Carl Jung realised that our conscious mind is just a tiny part of the psyche.

Similarly, Aldous Huxley distinguished between consciousness and the personal conscious, saying that a relaxed personal conscious is required to let the "wider self" come through.

Let's say, the personal conscious is a kind of small island in the midst of an enormous area of consciousness — what has to be relaxed is the personal self. The self that tries too hard, that thinks it knows what is what. This has to be relaxed in order that the multiple powers at work within the deeper and wider self may come through and function as they should.

In all psychophysical skills, we have this curious fact of the law of reversed effort: the harder we try, the worse we do the thing.

The more we try, the worse it gets. The more we chase the people we desire, the more they run from us. The harder we try to sell something, the fewer sales we tend to make. But if we don't act at all, we won't see any results either. So, we're looking for a middle path between action and non-action, between conscious effort and letting action occur. On the one hand, the conscious effort seems necessary to develop our skills: we need to practice, learn, think, understand and analyse.

On the other hand, the absence of conscious effort and intellectual activity seems necessary for letting the developed skills emerge naturally. we have to calm the mind and "get out of our own way," so to speak, to perform optimally. 

As Aldous Huxley wrote:

"Take the piano teacher, for example. He always says, relax, relax. But how can you relax while your fingers are rushing over the keys? Yet they have to relax. The singing teacher and the golf pro say exactly the same thing. And in the realm of spiritual exercises, we find that the person who teaches mental prayer does too. We have somehow to combine relaxation with activity."

The flow state appears to accompany mental clarity and equanimity, according to the accounts of people who experienced it. When athletes, musicians, singers, Formula 1 drivers, and martial artists experience "being in the zone," they don't ruminate, worry, analyse, intellectualize, or think about their next step: they just flow along with the natural course, as if they're the course itself. 

So, paradoxically, optimal performance requires us to relax, stop trying, and let our activities emerge and happen automatically. Or, as Lao Tzu stated:

"Can you remain tranquil until right action occurs by itself?"

They call it The Backwards Law or The Law of Reverse Efforts, there are several things that just require time to work themselves out, mostly clarity only comes when things are assured or definite or maybe we just need to put up a more calm state of mind to allow us to see the way out that occurs in a hectic mind.

"When your mind is still the universe surrenders" - Lau Tzu

Look it as an example. The gardener knows that no amount of force can make a plant grow. All one can do is provide the elements contributing to growth and patiently wait for the powerful internal dynamics of the seed to manifest themselves.

Honestly, it seems a wee bit strange since all this time, all I know is the concept of doing, of consistency, and so on, instead, I am also discussing about not doing.

See, and it is possible!

~Cheerio

Before I recognised how excessive I was, I did never expect me knowing the Minimalist lifestyle, it was totally never on my list until one and a half years ago

Let's start it from here...

When I was younger I mostly spent my money buying clothes. I loved thrifting, oh my god especially the T-shirt and the style. It was unique and fantastic as I could be whomever I desired to without feeling bashful at all, instead I felt much confident when I was wearing those clothes.

Many of my friends even asked me, they loved my style and wanted to have them, always asking me where did I get those cool pants, cute shirts, or good T-shirts. And then they asked me the price. Most surprisingly, the price is more than you can imagine, absolutely INEXPENSIVE! Yes, love! It won't suck out your wallet unless you retain the budget carefully. 

Every month or might be, just might be, I could do thrifting at least once per two weeks. Insane, right? With no qualms, I would buy many many many clothes. Once I admired it I would put it into the cart as fast as I could before someone stole it from me and sold it out.

In addition, styling clothes was something that I was going to get a kickoff. It was always Oh my day! Never got tired of making a new look by whatever things that I had on my wardrobe or even things that I did not have but I did not mind buying new ones, because, at that time, my gut said I need these, I need all of them. I had a bunch of inspirations and I had to make it real. Putting my creativity into styles, yes, dear, I was that insane before.

Until one day.

One of the hella bad days.

My wardrobe was not fit enough for each pair of my trousers and my clothes! My beautiful clothes! I even just bought it today, and all of them would not fit in? Great, just great. Totally made my day, pathetically.

I realised I had too many clothes.

I remained silent for a couple of minutes. My mind was mingled, reminiscing about all the other pieces of stuff I had that I was not sure able to mention one by one. 

"Do I have too much stuff? Why can't I mention them all?"

My hands moved through the wardrobe, finding some clothes I did not even know exist. 

"Oh well, why don't I remember having this?"

"When did I buy it?"

"When was the last time I wore it?"

I reached one of the farthest clothes in the corner, "wait, wait, isn't it a five-year-ago dress that mom used to buy me? The last 5 five years of Ramadhan," I sighed.

Smack my head gently, "Oh God, why does this remain here? It shouldn't be here, I should give or throw it away. Since I never wore it for ages and will never wear it again."

"See, that's just clothes. What about other items? All the books that have been purchased and never read them saying that you don't have time? sticky notes you always rebuy even tho there's still a lot because you are too afraid of getting run out of them although it never happened? and don't forget those unnecessary stationaries you always fill out," me talking to my own self.

Okay, before we discuss it further, I had found interesting reasons after analysing a few things when I started learning to not being excessive about stuff.

Here's what I got:

When you are being excessive, the stage of reason you present to get whatever you desire is regarding your cravenness of immediacy exhilaration or people often call it instant gratification.

The simplest thing why people buy items is for fun. They love it because it has become a pleasure for them.

According to Norton from BBC, he said that these items do not actually increase your level of happiness in the long term.

"Most of us can actually maximize the things we already have to make ourselves happy," said Norton.

But because you only care about your love for the item, so you want to have it. Whether you need it or not is the least thought you deliberately have.

Your centre of attention is subconsciously on your feelings. The brain gives a direct signal from loving to wanting so that you automatically ignore the situation which is not so convincing. You already want it, you will think about the consequence of your action later after you get home, reflecting whether the item is really needed or not. After tenderly observing the item, you realise that it just encumbers you even more.

How did I cope with it?

After discussing what happened to me with my friend, reading some books, articles, and researching some journals, I got a final answer.

A Minimalist lifestyle.

Here's a secret I found in the midst way:

You can still live a minimalist lifestyle and not live in a tiny 300-square-foot house, not throw all the clothes and replace it with black and white theme only, not sell your favourite mugs to the neighbourhood. It's possible to stay where you used to live, to take some of the main ideas of minimalism and incorporate them into your own life.

I'd search online for articles, getting on how to become minimalist and I'd find people whose stories only owned a few things in their lives, for instance just two pieces of mugs, two sets of spoons and forks, three plates, one shoe, some pair of jeans, and some shirt with the same colour, black. I was fascinated by their lifestyle, but also I knew it wasn't for me. So not me. 

I was always going to keep some clothes because I love mix-matching items, I like having a few stationaries, I am having some pairs of shoes; at least black, white, and cream ones, and I was never going to get by with just a little amount of books! In other words–I liked the idea of living less, but I knew I was never going to be like the people I read about online.

For a few months I came to realise that there is only one rule when it comes to minimalism:

You must be intentional about what you allow into your life.

Like Joshua Bekker mentioned, minimalism is internationally living with only the things that absolutely we need. It's having and being surrounded by fewer items that support your purpose, so you can more focus on your life and times. Basically, being a minimalist means intentionally promoting what we most value and removing everything that distracts us from it.

Then I got the idea of getting something in and throwing something out.  

In my humble opinion, it is the easiest way newbie to start.

At least for now, I want to keep the most valuable things that have been in my house and to have as few possessions as possible by not buying new material items. For you too!

The goal of minimalism is to align the "things" in your life (your physical stuff, your commitments, and even your relationships) with you what matters most to  YOU.

Maybe your next very move of "how to be minimalist" is planning to declutter. 

Right?

I'll be honest with you and tell you that I didn't do this when I first got started with minimalism. I donated it. So, I got rid of it, purposely donating to others.

A good place to begin is by searching the best places to donate your goods.

If you have a plan what to do with your stuff before decluttering, you're more likely to follow through with your plan, you won't end up with bags of stuff you don't know what to do and avoid laying down on the deepest corner part of the warehouse. Don't let this happen! it is a disaster. Don't end your bags of stuff end up there alone, which over time be dusty and untouchable. Then tell me, what's the difference? there's no point in it if you do so.

So, you better to have a plan before decluttering.

Period.

I know this feels like too much on your plate, but I promise it's worth it.

It's okay if you don't know when is the best time to do this, you can do it whenever you want and it's better as soon as possible. A single piece of a puzzle is better than the amount of nothing.

Although it's forcefully hard to declutter, at least always have a deep consideration before letting every single thing into your life. You get rid of stuff in your home has been difficult, don't double it by getting unnecessary things and bringing them inside your home and YOUR LIVE.

I know sometimes we are too emotionally tied to our sentimental goods. Either do I know this forces us to let go of those emotions and focus on functionality.

While you are being minimalist, your focus is going to the most paramount things that are fulfilled your needs.

When you go shopping to the nearest convenient store, you will buy things that are needed only, straight go to the stall. You won't pick something that is not on your list. Of course your eyes still catch a glimpse of happiness there even without buying a cute or on sale products, since you know what you need not just what you like. 

Priority is the key.

What is your priority?

Do you really need that stuff inside your home?

Is that gonna be useful or not? or at least has an artistic sense?

Does it bring you love or joy?

Once you've minimalised the amount of things you own, make sure that you also start to limit what you bring into your home, as well. You didn't do all this work to be undone by a few impulsive shopping sprees.

Remember this, since you are getting rid of the stuff that doesn't matter so you have more time, money, space, energy for the things that do.

~Cheerio!

When hardship came into my life, the first thing that popped out in my mind was 'how do I get the patience to get through this?'

Of course, it is hardly easy and that is the reason Allah (SWT) gives the rewards and raises the one who is patient. However, Allah did mention in the Qur'an that He is alongside the patient ones. 

So, are there any certain things we can do to facilitate patience into the calamity?

Yes, absolutely just like Allah (SWT) put you on a trial, He gives you the tools to push through it.

1. Pray while crying and communicating your feelings

At this exact moment, our hearts are broken and we can barely do anything although please never stop praying. We find ourselves crying our hearts out in each sujood. That's fine, we need this. Making abundant of Duas while crying and begging Allah to mend the cracked pieces of our hearts.

I know we always have a chance to talk with someone whom we trust, let our feelings out so we allow the healing process to take place. However, have you ever thought that the best one who we can trust and rely on is only Allah? Yes, rely on and depend on ourselves only to Him. Do not stop each dropped tear because they literally release the sadness intensity. 

Regarding the studies, tears detoxify the body, release the accumulated negative emotions, and elevate one's mood. No wonder we often feel much better after bawling our eyes out!

In addition, if you still need someone to talk with then talk to someone you trust. It's okay to share it with someone whom you totally trust. It's okay bro. We are human beings and it's normal.

2. Make LOTS OF Dua

Dua along with Salah (Prayer) is a miraculous means to wipe away our unbearable sadness and hardship. Close our eyes and visualise our pain melts away each Dua. Remember you are talking to Allah who controls all our affairs and can overturn your heart as He wills.

Ask Him to strengthen our hearts just like he did to the mother of Prophet Musa (PBUH) when she was giving away her son to the river.

"And the heart of Moses's mother ached so much that she almost gave away his identity, had We not reassured her heart in order for her to have faith in Allah's promise." (Al-Qasas:10)

3. Reflect on the stories of patience in the Qur'an

Usually, shared experiences remind us we are not alone in this and that provides great comfort.

Therefore, the multiple stories of the prophets and other righteous people are not there only for entertainment. Each story engraves a lesson in our hearts to face life's challenges with the right mindsets.

They are there to remind us of times when things were unbearable for them (PBUT), and yet they overcame each hurdle with sturdy hearts filled with Iman, Subhanallah.

4. The Dua of hardships

Something we often tend to forget is making the Dua that Umm Salamah recited when she lost her husband Abu Salamah (May Allah be pleased with them both).

Reciting this Dua is wonderful on so many levels. To begin with you are practicing patience as soon as the calamity hits and Allah (SWT) will replace your sorrow with something that will please you insha'Allah.

Umm Salamat (May Allah be pleased with her reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (SAW) saying, "When a person suffers from a calamity and utters: 'Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf li khairan minha (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it), then Allah surely compensates him with reward and better substitute." Umm Salah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: When Abu Salamah (May Allah be please with him) died, I repeated the same supplication as the Messenger of Allah (SAW) had commanded me (to do). So Allah bestowed upon me a better substitute than him (I was married to Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (SAW)). [Muslim] (Riyad as-Salihin 921)

5. Stay hopeful and have a support system

Know that every hardship comes with ease. That is not my promise nor any human being, it is Allah's! Have positive expectations and thoughts upon Allah and be patient with an optimistic approach that this trial shall pass.

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him as saying that Allah thus stated: I live in the thought of My servant as he thinks of Me and with him as he calls Me. (Muslim)

In addition, surround ourselves with people who genuinely care about us. When we are alone our thoughts start cramming into our minds overwhelming us with even more sadness because having the right people around us will take our minds off of things even for a wee bit. 

Moreover, you will learn something that most probably is going to help you in your life and ultimately make you more resilient.

Failures, losses, made me stronger every single day. Having a failure does not mean we suck, it is part of life process.

~Cheerio!

Imagine how amazing the outcome of spreading positivity to others? Helping someone that needs your help, providing one or community that is part of your life, also representing your identity in a good way, isn't it wonderful? You can be the reason people smile. You can make their days even more beautiful. See, how major your action can impact others.

Nowadays, many Muslim influencers actively representing Islam in many ways. Slowly, more and more Muslim influencers becoming known online internationally or nationally, you named it like Saleh Family, Hummi, Adam Saleh and many more. Then one day, I discovered another one.

Right after finishing my morning workout when I was surfing on YouTube, all of sudden I found whose channel was super amazing and inspiring. It is by Mustafa Hussain. I have watched all his videos and probably could not stop rewatching them over and over. Every time I watch it, I get so touched cause his content is such a heart-warming one. Why? His content is definitely can make you smile maybe have a bit teary eyes and get touched. 

"Be the change you wish to see in the world"

Yes, be the change you wish to see in the world by your action. It doesn't matter how small or big it is as long as you can provide, help, and impact others within whatever action you do then you have done such an amazing job. Always. No matter how much it is, it will always be beneficial for one.

I take one example from Mustafa's action. His name is Mustafa Hussain. The young Pakistani-American influencer. He has a passion for spreading positivity and creating uplifting content. Many of his videos are centred around challenging stereotypes regarding the Muslim community. 

His small acts of kindness like giving free ice cream to the homeless, paying for strangers' groceries on Thanksgiving or even giving chocolate bars attached with cute notes "Smile. You deserve to be happy." (omg what a cute one!) to random strangers became viral not only because they were uplifting, but because they represented and showed an essential message that,

"Muslims are a generous, peace-loving people who can be the pillars of their community."

Even though he has been in success and fame, Mustafa remains grounded. As London post said,

"His goal remains the same: to give, to uplift, and to spread happiness in ways that change the world perceptions on Muslims for the better. His videos reflected his lofty ambitions. "Giving Free Food for Strangers in Ramadhan", "Muslim paying for people's gas", Muslim giving strangers Ramadhan Gifts", Iftar With The Homeless On A Truck In Ramadhan", are some of his popular videos where he creates moments of sheer joy and wholesomeness."

It is absolutely inspiring me a lot.

One of my favourite Mustafa Hussain's videos is this one--Making Strangers Smile (Guaranteed To Make You Smile). And guess what? Apparently, it works! The values they demonstrate and the message of the videos are trying to convey. People reserve a soft spot for genuine reactions caught on camera. Catching these authentic smiles is a meticulous job. So, Mustafa and his best friend Ahmad explored the idea of bringing people a few smiles.

This one spread rapidly and they were overwhelmed and joyed with people's reactions, having received positive emails of people inspired by the video wanting to do the same thing in their community.

Ya Allah, he actually has made my day! *Does he make yours too, doesn't he? Oh, come on stop pretending that you are not. Hmmm? So hold your smile while reading this article, please. And don't forget to visit his social media platform!*

See, I probably couldn't stop smiling when I wrote this article. Thousand times I recheck his channel and rewatch his videos still get amazed and never get bored seeing those genuine smiley faces.

Mustafa and his best friend (Ahmad) while in the midst of endorsement with Hershey's

A smile is beneficial for our health. Put simply, it improves our mood because a smile releases endorphins which help us feel happier and have more positive thoughts. By this, please don't stop becoming the reason people smile. Do it your own way, no matter how small your action is, it will always make others' day. 

Mustafa said, 

"Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world."

I hope you are having a big smile now on your face and have a great day! 

Be grateful! Thanks to God you are still alive and being here.

In case you want to seek about him further. Here's Mustafa Hussain's social media platform:

Instagram: Mustafah
Facebook: Mustafa Hussain
Twitter: Mustafah
YouTube: Itsmustafa

Cheers~