Photo by Artem Podrez from Pexels

But are you really? Serius kamu nggak apa-apa? 

I know that right now things seem chaotic. Your school isn't your favorite, your job is painful, your anxiety is eating you up, and even your bank account looks scary out of money. There's much on your plate right now.

Atau justru yang sedang kamu alami saat ini jauh lebih sulit hingga akhirnya kita sulit untuk mengungkapkannya. But I believe, kamu sudah bekerja sangat keras, sudah berjuang dengan sekuat tenaga. Kamu sudah menyelesaikan banyak hal keren kok. Dan setiap orang punya masalahnya sendiri-sendiri, have their own issues to work through, dan seringkali banyak hal nggak sesuai dengan apa yang kita mau yang mana bikin kita not okay.

Meskipun sometimes an unexpected challenge or an obstacle bisa saja datang menghampiri kamu, dan kamu pun merasa kesulitan untuk menyelesaikannya, khawatir, takut, nggak tahu harus ngapain lagi. Dan seringkali, you just have nothing. Nggak ada motivasi, nggak ada semangat, and no creativity. Tiba-tiba, you're being plagued with self-doubt. Oh myy, that's a jackpot:')

Kamu pikir kamu harus kuat setiap saat.

Kamu pikir kamu nggak boleh nangis, to admit that you're not okay.

Inilah hal yang nggak kita sadari, kita selalu dituntut untuk selalu baik-baik saja. Tapi ini bukan perihal siapa yang meminta, tapi kita sendiri yang sering menghakimi dan akhirnya kitalah yang menuntut, memaksa diri untuk kuat dan tegar. Harus siap mental, harus siap raga, harus siap materil, harus tahan banting, harus bisa menghadapi segala situasi dan kondisi, harus bisa a b c d e f g, dst. Gitu aja terus nggak ada beresnya.

Why?

Kenapa kita harus merasa kuat setiap saat? Pura-pura tegar? Why do we feel guilty when taking a time-out? I was overwhelmed with such guilt. Bagaimana bisa aku cuma duduk sambil nangis and feel sorry for myself, when I have plenty to be grateful for?

Remember, we have Allah. And seeking for His help is the best way ever we must do since the beginning. It's okay to be vulnerable especially when we are praying, when we are seeking His refuges.

It's okay to say that you're not okay. By that means your feelings and emotions are valid, no matter what they are.

Sometimes kita perlu expressing our emotions since it's never a bad thing, and if you're not okay, it's okay to say so.

I mean like, come on, we're only human. We couldn't do every single thing strongly without feeling exhausted and some hard times wishing death comes to us.

Even, we can look into the Qur'an and take a lesson through The story of Maryam (as) that she was alone gave birth, under a palm tree and close to a small stream. [QS. Maryam : 23-26]

فَأَجَآءَهَا ٱلْمَخَاضُ إِلَىٰ جِذْعِ ٱلنَّخْلَةِ قَالَتْ يَـٰلَيْتَنِى مِتُّ قَبْلَ هَـٰذَا وَكُنتُ نَسْيًۭا مَّنسِيًّۭا

"Kemudian rasa sakit akan melahirkan memaksanya (bersandar) pada pangkal pohon kurma, dia (Maryam) berkata, 'Wahai, betapa (baiknya) aku mati sebelum ini, dan aku menjadi seorang yang tidak diperhatikan dan dilupakan'."

[QS. Maryam: 23]

Lesson from the story of Maryam's (as) childbirth is that our tests could be our blessings, and we should trust in the ultimate goodness of whatever Allah sends us.

Photo by Eva Elijas from Pexels

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Beauty in Islam according to The Qur'an is not only seen by physical appearance and form but rather in the beauty of a woman's character, her attitude, her sincerity, and her morals.

A woman need not feel sorry for their beauty because every woman is pretty and lovely if she has a pleasant moral so. Why do we only consider a good look and physically stunning while our heart is not? We should reconsider it because our appearance will wash out over time by inches besides our inner beauty will stay for decades.

That doesn't mean beauty is negligible.

It said in the hadith:

"Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty." (Muslim)

There is no doubt that in Islam, beauty is a very important characteristic but also a qualify of the body and the heart. In a world where the criteria of beauty seem to change from year to year according to trends and people, nothing like a homecoming. Better to zoom on beauty according to the criteria of Islam.

How to be beautiful and remain to be a Muslim at a time when beauty often rhymes with exhibitionism? Attract the eye, undress, wear a look sometimes a little too-much or in other words inappropriate, is that true beauty?  In Islam, beautifying oneself is not a sin if one does it in art and the way of what is allowed.

Discovering to be beautiful in Islam further...

Physical beauty is the beauty of the body. For the word previously quoted, "Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty." (Muslim)

Ibn Qayyim al-jawziya explains, "This hadith encompasses the beauty of clothing, subject of the hadith in question but also encompasses given the general scope of the subject, the beauty of everything." Beauty, the fact of being well prepared is, for the man, a way to thank Allah "for its benefits" according to the sheikh. As proof, we can quote this hadith.

According to Abu al Ahwas Al Juchami (may Allah accept him), "The Prophet saw me dressed in rags and said to me, "Do you possess any property?"

I answered: "Yes"

He said to me: "What kind of good?"

I said to him: "All kind of goods of which Allah has given to me, like camels, sheep so fort and so on.."

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said to me: "Make the effect of the blessings and grace of Allah appear on you."

[Ahmad, Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi, An-Nassa-i]

On the other hand...

According to the Encyclopedia by the Arabic Language Council, beauty is defined as elegance, refinement, and gorgeous. Also, some interpret beauty as a beautiful thing that can make someone like and love it.

Beauty is not only given to humans, but to every single thing in this universe from God's amazing creation including animals and plants. Neither do only be given to the universe, it can be given to human nature, morals, and characters as well as good manner.

Highlighted for women, that beauty arises from two elements, namely, physical and spiritual. If so far one's beauty is only judged from its appearance, it means that one's beauty remains incomplete.

Islam is a religion that calls on beauty. Actually, Islam is also taught us to always look beautiful because of Allah. Even so, as mentioned above in order to physical appearance, you should pay attention to body cleanliness, cover yourself properly, and wear modest clothes. Meanwhile, spiritually beautiful refers to good acts of worshipping Allah.

"And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect." (QS. Ar-Rum: 21)

It is also mentioned in the hadith, Ibn Abbas, radiyallahu ‘anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, related from his Lord (glorified and exalted be He):

"Verily, Allah has recorded the good deeds and the evil deeds.” Then he clarified that: “Whosoever intends to do a good deed but does not do it, Allah records it with Himself as a complete good deed; but if he intends it and does it, Allah records it with Himself as ten good deeds, up to seven hundred times, or more than that. But if he intends to do an evil deed and does not do it, Allah records it with Himself as a complete good deed; but if he intends it and does it, Allah records it down as one single evil deed.” (Muslim)

Eventually, when a man wants to propose a Muslim woman, he must prioritize character that comes within her spiritual rather than physical appearance.

"A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers." (Bukhari)

"The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." (Muslim)

"Appearance is important so that a woman looks neat, beautiful and attractive. However, there are other more important of such characteristics like always thinking positively, having love and affection for both oneself and those around you, having spiritual peace to find a new hope, optimism, and true happiness. Beauty that comes from purify of heart and soul is easier to become the center of admiration for people. The more unconditional love you radiate, the higher aura of beauty you will have."

"Verily Allah does not look to your faces and your wealth but He looks to your heart and to your deeds." (Muslim)

Therefore, Islam views the peak of female beauty as a straightforward to the level of submission to Allah SWT. This is because truth and ideal beauty come from the heart. In fact, this heart will determine the salvation of a servant when facing Allah in the Hereafter.